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Salah Ke Cara Aq Mcm Nie.

Salam...

For a few weeks until right now i'm writing i dont know why i'm feels so damn and stress. But now i do know why i'm got those feeling. Its because some people outside there are really make me hate my ownself. Perhaps in their own heart are really hate me very much. I dont know about that because for me once they are became my friend i will always love them very much. I really care about them. I'm the person who shows their care and loving to someone that i called FRIEND by writing on his/her wall. Leave my comment. Like all them stats. Its my style as a friend to you and i'm really sad when i know some other people that i called friend really hate damn much. Its makes me think i'm not a good friend to my own friend.

Almost everyday i reminder myself 'syakila! being a good person honey and learn from your past'. But actually i'm failed doing my job as a friend. Why my intention to be friend and do a good deeds is misunderstanding by others..WHY??. To be honor,i've cry a lot when i know they're calling me as a STALKER. I try my best to be such a loving friends to you but how could you say like that to me.As a friend,its my own right to cry a lot and feel how damn i am.



Maybe some person or friends will said 'hey! dont act like this be strong' but i can't. I REALLY CAN'T. I'm not to strong when its comes from my friends lips that i'm a STALKER,BITCH and SLUT. Its came from my friends mouth. How could them do this to me.This came from my own friends lips what about the other person that never know me or either doesnt friend and see me face to face. Maybe more than hurt words came from them that i dont know. My past told me do not take any revenge of the haters because you are not like that. I'M NOT A DISREPUTE PERSON!.Yeah maybe in 2010 i was but 2011 is not in my characters.

I'm really suffering right now and maybe it will effects my future. For your information i'm not live with a lot of excuse and please dont use the words 'dont judge me if you dont know me well' because you also doing a same thing. You judge me as you want and as bad as you can. I'm feel pity to you because you act without thinking your own word. You are really super duper great to play disrepute game but i'm not. You're the winner and i'm the loser. And i can feel you are really satisfied to make me hate my own self.

And if you're trying to make me feel bad by doing what you just did,and maybe even try to make me feel what you must have felt. Congrats!..you succed!

Comments

  1. sabJanuary 27, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    sayang...sabar k..ingat. kawan yg sebetul2 nye bukan sng kite nk mncari..nanti syakila dh masuk u..insya Allah..akan jumpe yg lg better ok! myb ade hikmah..xpe la..sab ade ok..sab akan kwn dgn syakila. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. SYAKILA HISAMJanuary 28, 2011 at 6:39 PM

    cik sab..terimakasih sangat2x!!
    menangis dgr nasihat cik sab and sgt terharu..<3

    ReplyDelete

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